FUNNY DEFINITIONS

Antacid: Uncle Acid's wife.
Antelope: How she married my Uncle.
Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's.
Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do.
Baloney: Where some hemlines fall.
Bernadette: The act of torching a mortgage.
Bottom: What the shopper did when she found the shoes that she wanted. Bucktooth: The going rate for the tooth fairy.
Burglarize: What a crook sees with.
Cantaloupe: When you are unable to run away to get married.
Cartoonist: What you call your auto mechanic.
Castanets: What they did to fill the role of Frankie Avalon's movie girlfriend. Celtics: What a parasite salesman does.
Concert: A breath mint for inmates.
Consist: A growth on an inmate.
Content: A fabric shelter for inmates.
Control: A short, ugly inmate.
Convent: How inmates get air conditioning.
Counterfeiters: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets.
Crestfallen: Dropped toothpaste.
Cross-eyed Teacher: A teacher that looses control over his or her pupils. Decrease: De fold in de pants.
Demote: What de king put around de castle.
Despise: De persons who work for the CIA.
Detention: What causes de stress.
Dictator: Another name for Richard Spud.
Dilate: When a person lives longer.
Dioxin: What you say before you kill a herd of buffalo-like cattle.
Dreadlocks: the fear of opening the dead-bolt.

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Dilbert-isms

"What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter."

"How long is this Beta guy going to keep testing our stuff?"

"E-Mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should only be used for company business."

"Turnover is good for the company, as it proves that we are doing a good job in training people."

"Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."